


Paris' Finest (Dumbasses)

by SpartanXHunterX



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: A Vague Lack of Plot, All The Ships, Chloé Bourgeois Redemption, Chloé gets a name change, F/F, F/M, Group chat, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Literally no-one is straight, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:09:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25208248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpartanXHunterX/pseuds/SpartanXHunterX
Summary: In which the hero's all partake in a group Chat to keep up with one another outside the mask.Shenanigans, Puns and maybe a little bit of plot too.
Kudos: 88





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Several things to say first.
> 
> Miracle queen never happened, Master Fu simple passed on the role before he was put in danger.
> 
> Chloé's Costume and Name was changed some time after Miraculer for her safety and she's actually trying to be good.
> 
> No one knows Chloé is the new bee except Ladybug.

**Ladybug Has Created a Chat: Miracle Team**

**Ladybug had added: Chat Noir, Carapace, Rena Rogue and Honey bee to the Chat.**

18:47

**Rena Rogue:** Omg!!! Is this reak!?

**Rena Rogue: *** Real *****

**Chat Noir:** You bet it is!

**Carapace:** Reak

**Honey Bee:** Reak

**Rena Rogue:** Rude... But also.

**Rena Rogue has Set their nickname as Trickster.**

**Trickster:** Eh? What'cha think?

**Chat Noir:** 6/10

**Trickster:** Rude... Again.

**Ladybug:** Ok I turned away for a second...

**Ladybug:** Also follow Rena's example and set a Nickname, in case someone sees.

**Ladybug has Set their nickname as Lady Luck.**

**Carapace has Set their nickname to Point Defence.**

**Honey Bee has Set their nickname to Sky Stinger.**

**Chat Noir has Set their nickname to The Chats Meow.**

**The Chats Meow:** 7/10 for Cara, 4/10 for honey and a Solid 10/10 for you My Lady.

**Sky Stinger:** Excuse Moi! A 4!?

**Trickster:** Oh! Get dunked on bee!

**Lady Luck:** Ok! Before this gets out of hand. Rules.

**Trickster:** Boo! Rules suck.

**Lady Luck:** Rule one: No identity stuff. No hints. No clues. No personal stuff that can be tied back to you specifically.

**Lady Luck:** Rena. Now you're being rude.

**The Chats Meow:** Ooh. Get dunked Rena. Right into the Seine.

**Lady Luck:** Rule two: Use this Chat mainly for alerting us of Akuma. I don't mind you talking but don't spam this unnecessarily at obscene times.

**Sky Stinger:** I second that. A girl needs her beauty Sleep after all.

**Point Defence:** Then shouldn't you sleep 24/7?

( _Several people are typing...)_

**The Chats Meow:** ME-OUCH! GO GET SOME OINTMENT FOR THAT BURN HONEY!

**Trickster:** Babe that was brutal!

**Sky Stinger:** HOW DARE YOU! LADYBUG! HELP ME.

**Lady Luck:** Sorry Honey, you're on your own for that one.

**Lady Luck:** Rule three: Please refrain from using puns.

**The Chats Meow:** But my Lady! How else will everyone know about my great wit if I don't pun?

**Lady Luck:** I'm sure the video of you chasing a laser pointer light does a good job of that.

**The Chats Meow:**...

**Point Defence:** And you thought I was brutal? That's straight savagery.

**The Chats Meow:** Not to tuck my tail and run but I've got some important civilian things to do. Talk later.

**Trickster:** Wow! Here I thought Ladybug was always the nicer one out of you two.

**Sky Stinger:** I didn't.

**Lady Luck:** I am 30% Salt at this point. I'm just fed up with Hawkmoths B.S

**Point** **Defence:** Same.

**Sky Stinger:** Same.

**Trickster:** Same.

**Trickster:** Also Honey. We haven't really worked together before or meet up, so if we're ever out there together just know that me and Cara are a little... Personal with one another.

**Sky Stinger:** Meaning... What exactly?

**Lady Luck:** Those two are dating outside the masks and know each other's identities.

**Lady Luck:** Also, I'll be bringing each of your miraculous to you three tonight. You'll get to keep hold of them permanently for now but I expect you to arrive to Battles as much as possible.

**Point Defence:** Sweet! I've missed the little dude. Good to know I can hang out with him more.

**Sky Stinger:** I have missed Pollen, I'll be sure to spoil her as much as I can.

**Lady Luck:** I'm sure she'll like that. But remember, Keep. The. Kwami's. Hidden.

**Trickster:** How many times do you think Ladybugs almost been exposed cause her Kwami doesn't hide?

**Lady Luck:** Excuse Moi! I'll have you know Tikki is very well behaved. Sometimes she has had bad timing but I've always managed to do damage control.

**Sky Stinger:** Not to rain on the parade but there's an Akuma at the Bourgeois Hotel. Wait staff... I think.

**Point Defence:** How can you tell?

**Sky Stinger:** I can hear Chloé screaming from outside.

**Lady Luck:** Damn! On my away! _@The Chats Meow_

**The Chats Meow:** Be there soon!

**Lady Luck:** No time to give out Miraculous I'm afraid. Me and Chat are going solo.

**Trickster:** Dang.

**Point Defence:** This sucks. Being hero's and not being able to help.

**Sky Stinger:** I know and I'm close by too. I could help if she had time to find me.

**Sky Stinger:** Also if this Chat is supposed to be incognito.

**Sky Stinger has changed the Chat name to: Paris' Finest (Dumbasses)**

**Point Defence:** I want to be mad. I really do.

**Trickster:** It's ok babe. I'll be mad for both of us.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lady Luck: Be sure to go to sleep or I'll come to yours and knock you out.
> 
> Trickster: I'd thank you if you did.
> 
> Sky Stinger: Lol. Same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lady Luck = Ladybug  
> The Chats Meow = Chat Noir  
> Sky Stinger = Honey Bee/ Queen bee  
> Point Defence = Carapace  
> Trickster = Rena Rogue

**Paris' Finest (Dumbasses)**

**01:37**

**Point Defence:** Didn't realise patrol would be so... Quiet. But thanks for inviting us out dudette.

**Lady Luck:** Yeah patrol is often quiet. Night Akuma's are rarer then you think.

**Lady Luck:** but at least you three managed to get a better understanding of both your miraculous and how to navigate the rooftops.

**Point Defence:** It sucks that I have to rely on you guys to get around, why is that?

**Lady Luck:** Each Miraculous is different. Like for example. The bee is faster then the Ladybug but not faster then the Dragon.

**Lady Luck:** In this case the turtle is the slowest and least mobile but you pack a heavy punch. You're most likely the strongest on the team.

**The Chats Meow:** You're probably the most durable too, having the powers of protection and all.

**The Chats Meow:** Unlike me where I am all grace and puns.

(Several people are typing...)

**Sky Stinger:** You ran head first into a chimney

**Trickster:** Says the guy who hit his head

**Lady Luck:** Kitty, you are not.

**Point Defence:** Sorry dude but I'm with the girls. You are far from grace.

**The Chats Meow:**...

**The Chats Meow:** This is first class bullying and I will not stand for it.

**Sky Stinger:** Read it and weep.

**Lady Luck:** Not to break up this lovely moment but it's late and I'm sure we all have school tomorrow. So go to sleep.

**Trickster:** Sleep is for the weak.

**Point Defence:** No babe. I am not carrying you around tomorrow.

**Trickster:** Spoiler

**Lady Luck:** Be sure to sleep or I'll come to yours and knock you out.

**Trickster:** I'd thank you if you did.

**Sky Stinger:** Lol. Same.

**Lady Luck:** [Read At: 01:46]

**Trickster:** Ladybug. You do realise that doesn't work right?

**Trickster:** Cara?

**Trickster:** Chat?

**Trickster:** Bee?

**Trickster:**... Screw you guys.

* * *

**Paris' Finest (Dumbasses)**

**08:37**

**Lady Luck:** I AM LATE FOR SCHOOL!

**Point Defence:** Can we get an F?

**Trickster:** F

**The Chats Meow:** F

**Sky Stinger:** _F_

**Trickster:** Look at bee, being All fancy with the italics. Also R.I.P Ladybug.

**Lady Luck:** Screw you guys. Don't expect me to be at the next Akuma attack.

**Lady Luck:** Or better yet.

**Lady Luck:** Don't expect me to use the cure.

**The Chats Meow:** Really My Lady. If you're going to threaten us do it with something we'll believe.

**Lady Luck:**...

**Lady Luck:** No pastries at the next joint patrol.

**The Chats Meow:** WHAT! NO! ANYTHING BUT THE PASTERIES!

**Trickster:** You guys have pastries during patrol?

**Lady Luck:** Not anymore. Not until I'm given the respect I deserve.

**The Chats Meow:** I have never not respected you My Lady. I have always placed you higher then myself I swear! Paris would be nothing without you!

**Lady Luck:** ~~Sounds~~ ~~fake~~ Ok, fine.

**Lady Luck:** But I choose next time.

**The Chats Meow:** That's fair.

**Sky Stinger:** Don't know about you guys but class had started so Get. Off. Your. Phones.

**Point Defence:** Yes mother.

**Trickster:** I am the only woman to can say that to.

**Point Defence:** No babe... Just no.

* * *

**12:37**

**The Chats Meow:** Akuma near Françoise Dupont. On scene now.

**Lady Luck:** Alright team, Lets show everyone what we got.

**Lady Luck:** Show Hawkmoth that we aren't afraid of him.

**Point Defence:** Crusty ass man doesn't bother me.

**Lady Luck:** Cara!

* * *

**13:49**

**Sky Stinger:** Damn, so much for not being afraid.

**Trickster:** It was a fear based Akuma, like Sandboy, at least we know Cara's shield can be hit by those with Zero issues now.

**The Chats Meow:** Speak for yourself.

**Lady Luck:** You ok Chat?

**The Chats Meow:** Been better but no worse for wear.

**Lady Luck:** You good Cara?

**Point Defence:** Perfectly fine Shield + Shell-ter protected me and Rena. Sorry I couldn't help you Chat, was a little occupied.

**The Chats Meow:** No harm done.

**The Chats Meow:** Besides, Akuma was less fear and more fear of being bullied.

**Point Defence:** Oh... Now it makes sense.

**Trickster:** _?_

**Point Defence:** There was a group of boys hiding in one of the locker rooms. Might have been that boys bullies perhaps?

**Lady Luck:** Probably. You'd think people would learn to not torment people while Hawkmoth is around.

**Sky Stinger:** Idiots the lot of them.

**Sky Stinger:** When hawky can turn your victim into anything from a professional boxer up to a raging monster you should learn not to antagonize people.

**Point Defence:** Truth.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trickster: Not to disregard that Info dump but KWAMI CAN GET SICK!
> 
> Lady Luck: Oh yeah. Right. Yes your Kwami can get sick just like you so take care of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lady Luck = Ladybug  
> The Chats Meow = Chat Noir  
> Sky Stinger = Honey Bee/ Queen bee  
> Point Defence = Carapace  
> Trickster = Rena Rogue

**Paris' Finest (Dumbasses)**

**18:37**

**Point Defence:** Not to sound weird but does anyone else's Kwami Mope about?

 **Lady Luck:** Is Wayzz ill? Like shivering and coughing.

 **Trickster:** Kwami can get sick!?

 **Point Defence:** Naw Dudette. Little dudes just... Mopey. He looks all sad and it's breaking my heart seeing him that way.

 **Lady Luck:** Ah... Well... That might be because he misses Master Fu. His previous weilder and friend for over 180 years

 **Trickster:** 180!

 **Sky Stinger:** Who?

 **Lady Luck:** Master Fu was the last Guardian of the Miraculous before he appointed me that role prior to disappearing.

 **Lady Luck:** He was the one who gave me and Chat our Miraculous and was the only survivor of the destruction of the Miraculous Temple.

 **Point Defence:** Was? That's specific.

 **The Chats Meow:** After we defeated Feast-

 **The Chats Meow:** An ancient Senti-monster created by Fu that Mayura revived and Hawkmoth Akumatised

 **The Chats Meow:** -We suspect that the temple was restored and all those lost revived with it.

 **Lady Luck:** We suspect simple because shorty after Fu disappeared I received some... Suspiciously wrapped parcels from where the Temple is supposedly located.

 **Lady Luck:** Sadly nothing that can help us against Hawkmoth. At least not until I translate the texts and... Ugh! It's worse then my homework.

 **Trickster:** Not to disregard that Info dump but KWAMI CAN GET SICK!

 **Lady Luck:** Oh yeah. Right. Yes your Kwami can get sick just like you so take care of them.

 **Lady Luck:** That reminds me of when Tikki last got ill. We'd been caught in the rain for a while and after De-transforming she was all cold and shivering.

 **Lady Luck:** I had no way to cure her back then so she guided me to someone who could and the WHOLE time I had to pretend she was some exotic cat.

 **Lady Luck:** Little did I know that this mysterious healer of Kwami was actually Master Fu and he was _messing_ with me.

 **Sky Stinger:** How can you trick people into thinking a Kwami is an exotic cat?

 **Lady Luck:** No idea.

 **The Chats Meow:** Fortunately for me, I can do exactly that as Plagg actually looks like a cat and even acts like one.

 **Trickster:** Lucky, I have to bribe Trixx into hiding for long periods of time. Otherwise the Runt likes to cause trouble.

 **Point Defence:** Odd, Wayzz is very quiet and very respectful... Oh, I just realized how bored he might be. Even with Trixx nearby most of the time.

 **Lady Luck:** Invest in a game boy or cheapish Phone, get games, earphones and snacks and you will have a happy Kwami.

 **Lady Luck:** Give Wayzz some time to adjust and be mindful on how he feels.

 **Point Defence:** Got it.

* * *

**20:32**

**Trickster:** Hey @Sky Stinger I've got a question.

 **Sky Stinger:** What is it?

 **Trickster:** What's it like being Chloé's successor? Like does her old reputation effect you or what not?

 **Sky Stinger:** Oh...

 **Point Defence:** Actually I'm curious too. You're the first person to have to replace a hero.

 **Sky Stinger:** Well... It a challenge... I suppose.

 **Sky Stinger:** Like Chloé's old attitude and behaviour stick to me I guess? People don't look at me like I'm a whole hero or even trustworthy yet.

 **Sky Stinger:** It's like people expect me to be just like Queen Bee and they're just waiting for a moment to pounce and shred my reputation.

 **Sky Stinger:** Like yeah... Chloé caused quite a few problems both in and out of the mask but that doesn't mean the Miraculous itself is the issue.

 **The Chats Meow:** Maybe people just assume a Miraculous will only work for people of a certain type. You just need to earn their trust. Even if I wished Chloé had the chance to prove herself like you get to.

 **Lady Luck:** We both know why She can't have a Miraculous Chat. It's for her safety and her families safety.

 **The Chats Meow:** But Bug! What if Hawkmoth still goes after her? or tries to use her?

 **Lady Luck:** Then we'll deal with it then.

* * *

**Direct message (@Sky Stinger)**

**Lady Luck:** You alright?

 **Lady Luck:** You were put on the spot quite heavily there

 **Sky Stinger:** I'm fine, it's weird talking about myself in a third person context.

 **Sky Stinger:** And to see Chat defend me.

 **Lady Luck:** Oh yeah, he's always defended you. As both Queen bee and Chloé bourgeois.

 **Lady Luck:** But now he thinks you're a separate person, So he's not hiding it anymore.

* * *

 **The Chats Meow:** Question: What food does your Kwami eat?

 **Point Defence:** Fruit, Veg and tea. Favourite: Strawberries, lettuce and Mint tea.

 **Sky Stinger:** Just about anything with Honey on or in it. She likes flower nectar too.

 **Lady Luck:** Chocolate Chip Cookies, Strawberry Macaroons... Just about anything with Chocolate or crazy high sugar.

 **Trickster:** Berries, Fruit, Chicken. Trixx loves my mother's homemade Roast Chicken especially. Why? What does Plagg eat?

 **The Chats Meow:** Camembert Cheese. _Only_ Camembert Cheese, nothing else.

 **Point Defence:** oof, that sucks.

 **Sky Stinger:** That stinks, literally.

 **The Chats Meow:** Yeah no kidding it stinks. I have to double check all my clothes to be sure he hasn't stashed any anywhere

 **The Chats Meow:** This means I _have_ to have Cheese on me 24/7 so I can be Chat Noir.

 **The Chats Meow:** Do you know how hard it is to hide the smell of Cheese? Especially when _someone_ won't stop being a glutton and keeps eating it.

 **Lady Luck:** I'd say 'Sucks to be you ' but Tikki probably eats just as often and my parents are getting suspicious on the number of treats I always have

 **Sky Stinger:** Do you have any idea how hard it is to get honey out of the bottom of your bag?

 **Sky Stinger:** Cause when I finally found it, after it had been left in the sun for nearly a day... I screamed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Chats Meow: Not to be 'that guy' but what's wrong with School?
> 
> Lady Luck: The Bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lady Luck = Ladybug  
> The Chats Meow = Chat Noir  
> Sky Stinger = Honey Bee/ Queen bee  
> Point Defence = Carapace  
> Trickster = Rena Rogue

**01:24**

**Sky Stinger:** Saying it now. Hawkmoth can officially bite my ass.

 **Trickster:** Really? Now?

 **The Chats Meow:** On my way. Where you at.

 **Trickster:** Akuma is on its way to the Eiffel tower. Powers unknown

 **The Chats Meow:** Keep me informed.

**01:32**

**Sky Stinger:** Information! Laser beams!

 **The Chats Meow:** _???_

 **Trickster:** Punks got lasers for weapons, Bee got hit.

 **The Chats Meow:** Fuck! Well keep your distance until Ladybug gets here.

 **Sky Stinger:** Where is she?

 **Sky Stinger:** @Lady Luck

 **Sky Stinger:** @Point defence You better not be stuck somewhere on your back, get your hide here and between us and them.

 **Point Defence:** Shit! Sorry! Me and Wayzz was sleeping, OMW.

**01:57**

**Point Defence:** @Lady Luck dudette, we really need you!

 **The Chats Meow:** @Lady Luck We can't let this Akuma go on any longer.

 **The Chats Meow:** Find a jar, we'll capture it that way.

 **Trickster:** But the Cure!

 **The Chats Meow:** Will happen later! Once Ladybug gets here.

 **Trickster:** @Lady Luck We need you now! Chat down! Chat down!

**02:46**

**Lady Luck:** MOTHERFUCKER!

**03:12**

**Lady Luck:** _Please_ tell me you guys are alright? I left you lot hanging way too long.

 **Point Defence:** I'm good, little tired but good.

 **Sky Stinger:** Sore

 **Trickster:** Just glad that's all over with, what about you? You looked wiped out?

 **Lady Luck:** @The Chats Meow you alright?

 **The Chats Meow:** Just fine Bug, I'm just gonna sleep it off now. Good night

 **Trickster:** _???_

 **Lady Luck:** So... _funny story_... My parents have noticed my lacking sleep schedule and kinda maybe...

 **Lady Luck:** ~~Got me some very strong Sleeping tablets~~

 **Trickster:** Damn!

 **Sky Stinger:** They that strong?

 **Lady Luck:** Could knock a heard of elephants down strong.

 **Lady Luck:** Tested them at the worst time, It took Tikki forever to wake me. Poor girl deserves some fresh treats.

 **Sky Stinger:** You not going to sleep again?

 **Lady Luck:** Fuck that! I'm too wound up to sleep again.

 **Point Defence:** Am I the only one hanging onto the fact that Ladybug has sworn twice?

 **Lady Luck:** Real ladies swear and speak their mind

 **Lady Luck:** Also. Thank you for defending Chat Noir tonight. Everything could have gone to hell if he lost his miraculous.

 **Point Defence:** No problem, take care. Night.

 **Trickster:** Any idea how your gonna get around the tablet issue? I doubt your parents are gonna turn a blind eye to it.

 **Lady Luck:** For now? Nothing. I'll come up with something later. Right now is cookie baking time.

* * *

**07:32**

**Lady Luck:** Do you think if I had a tablet now and slept the day away my parents would remove them?

 **Lady Luck:** Cause now I'm regretting not sleeping and I really... Really, don't want to go to school today

 **Sky Stinger:** Could work, do your parents know your awake?

 **Lady Luck:** Not yet.

 **The Chats Meow:** Not to be 'that guy' but what's wrong with School?

 **Lady Luck:** The _Bitch_

 **Sky Stinger:** ?

 **Lady Luck:** There is a bitch in my classroom... Nuff said.

 **Lady Luck:** How can you like School Chatton? It's mind numbingly boring.

 **The Chats Meow:** Better then being locked in my house all day.

 **Sky Stinger:**...

 **Trickster:**...

 **Lady Luck:**...

 **Point Defence:** That's it, Chats parents are going on the list

 **Trickster:** Ooh, Chats parents got on the list

 **Lady Luck:** What list? Should I be concerned?

 **Point Defence:** No

 **The Chats Meow:** Should I be worried?

 **Point Defence:** First rule about the list. Tell no-one about the list. Second rule. Don't tell anyone what's written on the list

* * *

**12:47**

**Sky Stinger:** I've held off saying this long enough.

 **Trickster:**?

 **Sky Stinger:** If this is a Chat for all superheroes then why aren't all the others here yet? Like that snake guy or Dragon girl. IDK their names

 **Lady Luck:** It's complicated.

 **Lady Luck:** Ryuko's identity is known by Hawkmoth, it's too dangerous to let her continue, in the same way it is for Chloé.

 **Lady Luck:** Viperion is a very specific pick, a use when only necessary type. As for the others? I don't feel comfortable putting out that many miraculous, especially to lesser experienced weilders.

 **Lady Luck:** But we'll see about adding them another time.

 **Point Defence:** Hey, Roi Singe was a blast to be around, he saved our butts back during PartyCrasher.


End file.
